Ants in His Pants Glue in His Shoe
by mygyps17
Summary: Lois is seven. Clark is six. And they're both in the first grade...together. Definitely AU.


**Disclaimer: **Don't own Smallville, or the characters etc..

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Smallville. The town looks even more boring than its name sounds. They'd just moved here. Her, her daddy, and her little sister, Lucy. Not her mommy. Her mommy's in heaven; which is just a grown up way of saying she's somewhere Lois Lane will never ever be able to see her again. Not even if she wishes on a gazillion shooting stars while sitting on Santa's lap and holding up the bigger end of a split wishbone before making a wish and blowing out a birthday cake.

"Lois, we're here."

_Here _is Smallville Elementary. A place that is no doubt even more boringer than the long drive to this _boring_ town. They don't even have a McDonalds here. There's supposed to be a McDonalds everywhere, except in the middle of nowhere she guesses. Which means…

She sighs. She's in the middle of nowhere.

Lois doesn't make a move to get out of the car. She closes her eyes, leaning her head against the door, pretending to be asleep. Hopefully, when she wakes up, she'll be home. Her real home. Even if it is an army base. It's better than _Smallville_.

"Lois, get out of the car now" The General, her daddy, barks.

So she does. Quickly.

She wishes Lucy was here. Then she wouldn't have to come to this boring school alone. Even if her sister_ is_ just in kindergarten, and they wouldn't be in the same class, or probably ever see each other in the hallways, or the lunch room, or during recess; she'd still feel a lot less alone.

But she's not here. She's at home, being babysitted by some neighbor lady; Mrs. Kin or something like that.

There's no point in Lucy starting school here. She leaves tomorrow. The General is sending her to a special school in Europe 'cause she's smarter; and because The General likes her better.

Because Lois isn't particularly excited about actually getting to the classroom, all the office work and paper filling outing stuff to get her settled in happens real fast; and she finds herself being introduced to her teacher and her new classmates in no time at all. And of course, the general was gone. Off to keep the country safe and leaving her all alone.

"Class, this is your new classmate, Lois Lane." her new teacher, Mrs. Pratt, announces. "Everyone say 'hello Lois'"

"Hello Lois" the classroom chorused in perfect harmony. It felt like one of the many scary movies Lois snuck and watched while The General was away. Like "Children of the Corn" or "Village of the d-word." So naturally, she doesn't say hello back.

"There's an empty seat next to Clark over there. Clark can you raise your hand please so that Lois will know where to go?"

Lois quickly makes her way to the seat, even before the boy raises his hand. There's only one empty seat in the whole classroom. Did she really think she wouldn't be able to find it without his help?

"Clark, will you scoot your desk closer to Lois so that you two can share workbooks please?"

"Yes, Mrs. Pratt"

Lois takes one glance at the notebook and decides she doesn't need to look at anymore. It was boring.

"We're on this page." Clark whispers and points at it as if she didn't already know that. There are only two pages that can possibly be open at one time, and each one has about five words on it. Baby words to boot; like duck, truck, and luck. She can think of another 'uck' word, but she'd probably get in trouble for writing it.

"This one right here" he says again. Her only response to him is a scowl. She heard him the first time.

His response to her scowl is a smile, one that reaches his eyes; it makes her scowl deepen. The boy is really weird.

"Okay class it's eight thirty, please put your workbooks away and line up at the door" the teacher announces a few minutes later.

"Hey Clyde."

"My name is Clark"-

"What happens at eight thirty?"

"We go to electives"

"Oh…What's an"-

"Lois, Clark, we're waiting on you two. Hurry and get into the line please."

Clark stands up first and Lois notices two things about him at once. One; he's big; bigger than all the other kids in the class. She's hated school last year because she was the tallest one in her class, making her stand out like a sore thumb. Not only was she the tallest in her class, but she also has a 'late' birthday; which meant majority of her class was a year younger than her. It kinda made it look like she 'stayed back' or something.

Two: his shoes light up when he walks. She would love to have a pair of light up shoes.

She gets up and follows Clark, noticing that they're the same height; but then he skips one of the girls in line and she decides not to follow behind him anymore. She really isn't in favor of getting into trouble on the first day of school. Well; at least not within the first hour anyway.

Just as she makes her way to the end of the line, Mrs. Pratt calls her over to her side.

"Lois" she says sugar-sweetly while placing her hands on the young child's shoulder. "We line up in alphabetical order. What's your last name?"

"Lane" Lois answers with furrowed eyebrows. The whole class has turned to look at her and she sort of doesn't want to be the center of attention.

"Who can tell me what letter 'Lane' starts with?"

Lois rolls her eyes as everyone raises their hand. That was such an easy question Lucy would've gotten it right five years ago.

"Sasha?"

"L"

"Good! And what letter comes before L?"

Lois fidgets nervously. She's really been up front and center for too long, and for no good reason.

"Abby?"

"K"

"Very good"

"And do we have any K's here? Sean?"

"Harry Kale and…and…Clark Kent?"

"Excellent job Sean! And who is our last K? Pete?"

"Clark Kent."

"Correct; so Lois has to stand behind Clark unless…is there another 'L' in here? Whitney?"

"Lana Lang"

"Uh- oh; does Lois stand behind or in front of Lana?"

"In front" Lois answers impatiently; she really wants to just get in line now.

"That's right Lois; but why?"

Lois looks up at her teacher; she can't be serious.

But she is, and if Lois wants to get in line anytime soon, she should answer the teacher. Quickly. "because there's an A after L in my name" Lois answers logically. A _is _the first letter of the alphabet after all.

"Yes there is; but there's an A after Lana's L too; so let's go to the next letter in your name; which is?"

"N"

"N. and what's the next letter in your last name Lana?"

"N" the girl behind Clark answers promptly.

"Wow" Mrs. Pratt exclaims in a baby tone that grates on Lois's nerves. "So we have to go to the _next _letter; which"-

"E" Lois interrupts.

"E. And the next letter in your name Lana?"

"G"

"And does E come before G class?"

"Yes" they chorus together; _again_ with the creepy harmony.

"So Lane _does _come before Lang. Good job Lois. Go stand behind Clark."

'_Finally!'_

"Now class, today is Wednesday. Where do we go on Wednesdays?"

"Art class!"

"That's right! Now where's my door holder?"

Lois quickly takes her place behind Clark as the line begins to move out the door. She should really be paying attention to her surroundings; as this was an unfamiliar place and she should learn her way around, but she's not. She's looking down at Clark's shoes. They're so cool. Every step he takes, blue, red, green, and yellow little lights flash and flicker. She takes a big step, purposely stepping on the back of his shoe. She wasn't necessarily trying to trip him or anything. She just kinda wanted to touch 'em, and she couldn't really bend down to touch them with her hand while she was walking. But he does trip. Just a tiny bit. Not enough for anyone to notice. It just looked like he took an extra step.

"Sor"-

"Don't do that" Clark turns and tells her. "I'm not supposed to get my shoes dirty."

Lois narrows her eyes at him and crosses her arms over her chest. His shoes aren't _that_ special; and she was just about to say sorry.

"Don't tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me."

"Well these are _my _shoes. And I'm the boss of _my _shoes. And I don't want you to get _my _shoes dirty" he hisses before turning around to the front again.

That made her mad. She's not sure why. She started it first. But he shouldn't be so grumpy about it. She wasn't _trying _to get his shoes dirty. So she does it again. On purpose this time; because she didn't want him thinking he could just tell her what to do all the time. Like when they were doing workbooks and he kept telling her to pay attention. Stuff like that.

"Stop it" he says without turning around. It makes Lois smile. He's irritated. Serves him right.

"Stop telling me what to do" she replies before stepping on his shoe again. This time he listens, and he doesn't say anything back to her. Glad he's learned his lesson; she leaves him alone for the rest of the walk to the art room.

Once inside Lois is introduced to the art teacher, and assigned a seat.

There are four round tables in the art room; six chairs to a table. She'd been seated between Lana and a boy named Whitney; which confused her a little because she always thought Whitney was a girl's name.

Clark is directly in front of her; in between two boys from her class who's names she doesn't remember. She's happy he's so far away, and that she doesn't have to sit by him. Sort of.

"Okay Class, today we're going to be making paper chains!" the teachers announces before showing the class how to do just that.

It's fairly easy and Lois catches on immediately.

"You're being messy"

Lois looks over at Lana. She couldn't be talking to her; but as she looks around the table she sees that she _is _the messiest one there. She's got glue on the table, and glue oozing out of her chains and glue on her fingers. Everyone else's area is a bit neater; probably 'cause they followed the teacher's order about only putting 'one dot' of glue on the paper. Lois didn't; there was no way one dot of glue was going to hold the paper together.

"You're being nosey" Lois snaps back at the girl sitting beside her.

"Lana's right Lois; you are being messy" Clark points out.

"I wasn't talking to you Clint"

"My name is Clark."

"I still wasn't talking to you; Cliff."

"Is there a problem here?" the teacher suddenly appears out of nowhere and is standing behind Lois.

Lois bends her head back all the way, her head nearly touching the woman's stomach and looks up at the teacher. She smiles really big as the woman looks down at her "No ma'am. There's no problem."

"Okay" the teacher says before patting Lois's head the way a teacher often shows affection. "Just remember Lois, one dot of glue should be enough sweetie" she says before walking away and giving another table her attention.

"Told you" Lana whispers. Lois rolls her eyes and picks up the glue; but it slips out of her hand, rolls down her lap, and under the table.

Everyone laughs a little; but Clark laughs the hardest.

Fine.

She crawls under the table and retrieves the glue. It's really close to the light up shoes and she suddenly gets an idea. Without even giving herself enough time to think about what she's doing; and stopping because it's actually a _really_ bad idea; she twists the cap on her glue and presses the top into the inside of Clark's shoe. She's just about to squeeze when she's suddenly looking into Clark's eyes.

"What are you doing?"

His body is twisted a little awkwardly because he's still sitting in his seat.

"Nothing" she whispers after hiding the glue behind her back; which he could still see because…he can still see her back.

"Were you going to put _glue_ in my shoe?"

"No"

"I'm telling."

"No!" she whispers fiercely before yanking him by the shirt. He falls out of his chair; but lands gracefully on his hands and knees "Please don't tell. The General will kill me!"

"Who's the general?"

"What are you guys doing down here?" Lana asks while peeking under the table.

"Stop being nosey and glue your ugly chain" Lois glares behind her.

Lana gasps. "Mrs. Ivy!" she calls a second later "Mrs. Ivy, Lois is being mean to me. And she's being mean to Clark under the table too!"

Lois rolls her eyes and looks at Clark, ready to talk about how much of a tattle teller Lana is but…

"Don't be mean to Lana" Clark says crossly "She's my friend." And with that he leaves Lois under the table and gets back into his seat.

"Lois" the teacher calls. "What are you doing under the table?"

"My glue fell" she calls back before crawling out from underneath the table and sitting in her chair.

"Your glue fell for a very long time Lois. Next time pick it up faster okay."

"Okay" Lois sighs. She makes a decision as she begins gluing paper together once again. She doesn't like Lana…or stupid Clork.

It seems like hours have gone by before Mrs. Pratt returns for them; and Lois quickly cleans up her section before getting into line. It takes her the longest because; well, her area's the messiest; but she's so ready to leave she goes super fast.

But there's a problem. When she goes to stand behind Clark, she notices the line looks different. Lana is standing in front of Clark instead of behind him now.

Noticing Lois's hesitation, Mrs. Pratt explains to her that on the way back to the class from anywhere, the class still lines up in alphabetical order, but backwards. Meaning, Lois has to walk in front of Clark.

She sighs. There's no doubt in her mind that he's gonna be stepping on the back of her shoes now. It's only fair.

But he doesn't. During the whole walk to the classroom, he doesn't bother her at all. So she shows her gratitude by vowing not to bother him for the rest of the day.

That is…until recess. But that wasn't really her fault. He _made_ her do it.

She was just sitting in the sandbox during recess; not so much playing as minding her own business and wanting to be alone when Lana decides she wants to play in the sandbox too.

"Go away" Lois tells her. She'd decided to be nicer to Clark; but that didn't mean she had to like Lana.

"I can play here if I want. It's not just _your _sandbox Lois."

"Yeah, we can play here if we want" Clark agrees behind her and she turns around to face him. He kinda snuck up on her; and she didn't like being snuck up on.

"No you can't! Not if I don't want t play with you!" Lois yells. Rationally, she knows they're right. It's not her sandbox.

"You don't have to play with us. We'll stay on this side" Lana says while drawing a line across the sand with a stick. "And you can have that side."

Lois's mouth drops. "But that side is bigger!"

"We'll there's two of us here, and only one of you there. Right Clark?"

"Right" Clark agrees with a huge grin aimed at Lana.

"Is she your _girlfriend _Cluck?" Lois taunts, knowing just how mad it made him when she called him the wrong name.

"My name is Clark!"

"Whatever you say, Clock."

Lois watches the way his fists ball up at his sides; then she smiles. He's really mad now; so mad that he probably wants to hit her. Which was fine by her. She hardly ever lost in a fight; even if she _was_ fighting a boy.

But then Lois narrows her eyes as she sees some boys sneaking up behind Clark. One of them, Whitney, puts a finger to his lips; signaling her to be quiet.

"My. Name. Is. Clark."

But she's not paying attention to him. Whitney's up to something. Something that might not be so good for Clark.

Then Whitney yells "Now" and all the boys try to tackle down Clark. Lois isn't having that. Six boys against one? She might not like Clark; but that just wasn't fair.

"If all of you gang up on him, I'm gonna tell _The Genera_l, and all of you are going to a prison boot camp!"

"The general!" the boys exclaimed together. They didn't know that The General is just Lois's daddy; but he sounds important; so they take a step back.

"You don't have to _tattle_ Lois" Whitney sneers. She can see he's the bravest of all the boys as he's the only one who hasn't backed away. "We were just gonna put ants in his pants" he holds up both of his hands showing her that he has an ant pinched between his thumb and middle finger. "We weren't going to beat him up."

"Well I don't want you to put ants in his pants either; so drop them."

"Or what?"

"If you try to put those ants in Clark's pants, I'm gonna beat _you_ up." She threatens.

"Oooo. Does Clark have a _girlfriend_ now?"

"I'm not his girlfriend!" Lois glances back at Clark, wanting him to tell the other kids that she's not his girlfriend. But he's playing in the stupid sandbox with stupid Lana.

"yes you are! You're Clark's girlfriend!" he teases.

"Shut up!"

"Clark and Lois sitting in a tree"-

"Shut. Up. Whitney! And why do you have a girl's name any way?"

"I don't have a girl's name!"

"Do too! Whitney is a girl! Whitney is a girl!" Lois sings at the top of her lungs. And to Lois's surprise, those boys who were going to help Whitney put ants in Clark's pants start laughing. Really hard.

"Shut up!" Whitney yells; shoving Lois so hard in the chest that she falls down. She gets up immediately and seconds later the wrestling. Not play wrestling either. There's hitting and smacking and pulling hair.

Then there's Clark, and he's pulling Whitney away from Lois and yelling at him. "Boys don't hit girls!" He snarls angrily before pushing Whitney down into the sandbox; right next to Lana.

"Come on Lois" he says while turning his back to her and stooping down a little. She understands he wants to give her a piggy back ride but…

"I can walk."

"Your knees are bleeding. Both of them."

She looks down at her legs. Her knees are bleeding. "But I can still walk"

"Just get on."

Slowly she wraps her arms around his neck from behind. Her knees really do hurt, now that she knows they're _hurt_.

"But now everybody's gonna think I'm your girlfriend." she whispers.

"You are my girlfriend" he tells her while standing up and hooking his arms beneath her knees so that she doesn't fall. "You're my friend, and you're a girl."

Lois smiles. "I'm your friend now?"

"Yep"

"Okay"

Then Clark smiles; and he keeps on smiling until he gets to the 'teacher's corner.'

"Oh my goodness; Lois, what happened?" Mrs. Pratt exclaims.

"I fell, right Clark?"

"No, Whitney pushed her down Mrs. Pratt. Can I take her to see the nurse please?"

"Of course you can, We'll be in the classroom when you come back. Whitney! Whitney Fordman!" She yells in a way that lets all of Smallville know that Whitney Fordman is in so much trouble.

"Um, Mrs. Pratt? Can I stay with Lois until _she _comes back too?"

"You're such a sweetheart Clark." The teacher says before bending slightly to examine Lois's knees. "Well, since she probably just needs a few band-aids, I'll allow it. But just this one time okay."

"Okay" Clark grins at the teacher before heading toward the nurse's office.

"You can put me down now. I'm heavy."

"No you're not"

"The General says I am"

"Who's The General?"

"My daddy"

"Oh. My Dad told me I'm too heavy to carry around too. But my mom says it's not true and that he only says that 'cause he doesn't want me to be spoiled. So maybe your dad doesn't want you to be spoiled either."

"Maybe" Lois whispers. Or maybe her dad just doesn't like to hold her.

When they finally get to the school nurse, Lois starts to get a little nervous. Even if the teacher did say she just needs a band-aid. There's a good chance the nurse will put something on her knees first that'll sting like crazy. And Lois isn't a big fan of being stung.

Clark sits her down in an empty chair, and watches as the nurse examines her knees.

"Not so bad sweetie, I'm just gonna clean up these little scratches and put a band-aid on them. What do you think about that?"

"I think that this is gonna sting."

"Only a little honey."

"Only a little! No way Clark, take me back to the classroom" Lois stands; but Clark sits her back down.

"She said only a little Lois!"

"Clark! When they say a little it always hurts a_ lot_"

"How do you know?"

"'cause I go to the doctors all the time!"

"'cause you get hurt a lot?"

"No!...maybe."

"Okay"

"Okay what?"

"Okay, if you sit here and let Nurse Nancy fix your knees, I'll give you anything you want."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Okay"

"Good job Clark" the nurse praises him for the way he'd calmed Lois down.

Lois tries to sit still while the nurse is up getting the things she needs for her scratches; but she can't. She's still nervous.

Clark watches Lois's foot tap against the floor rapidly and he can't help but to think of how if she had the same kind of shoes as him, she'd be able to watch them light up when she does that.

"I like your shoes" he says suddenly. They aren't pink or girly; they're white, with the teenage mutant ninja turtles on them.

"I like your shoes too" Lois admits.

"Wanna trade?"

"Shoes?"

"Just one."

"Okay"

"They trade shoes quickly, and grin at each other. The shoes fit just right. And just like Clark figured she would, Lois begins tapping her foot against the floor again; but the shoes light up and distract her. She doesn't even notice the nurse fixing her knees until she announces that she's done.

"That's it?"

"That's it! You we very brave honey."

"Brave would've been if she didn't need a doctor and a band-aid for a tiny scratch"

Lois looks up and sees The General. Her mouth falls open and her hands begin to shake a little. Why is he here? The General only comes to her school if she's in trouble or if…

"We're moving. I've been relocated."

"But I just got here!"

"We have to leave now; or we'll miss the plane" he says while grabbing her arm and ignoring her outburst.

"But where are we going?"

"Alaska" he answers curtly.

"Alaska!"

"Wait! Sir Mr. The general majesty Sir; can I say goodbye to my girlfriend first?"

Sam Lane looks down at the little boy. The way he'd just addressed him lets him know that the little one realizes he's important; yet he just referred to his daughter as his girlfriend while still maintaining eye contact. He's got guts. Sam decides he likes him immediately.

"You've got ten seconds son" The General says before turning his back on them. They don't need any more privacy than that.

"Bye Lois"

"Your shoe." She mumbles before trying to take it off.

"Keep it."

"Really?"

"So you don't forget me."

"I wasn't gonna forget ya anyway" she grins before punching him lightly on the shoulder.

"Times up" The General announces before marching away. He doesn't even look back to see if Lois is following him. He doesn't have to. He knew she would. And she does; but not without a quick kiss on Clark's cheek and a promise to come back to Smallville when she gets old enough.

"But just so I can get my shoe back okay?"

"Okay. I'll be waiting. Just so I can get _my_ shoe back; 'cause mine are better" he teases.

"No way the ninja turtles can kick your ass."

"I'm telling The General you said ass"

"Lois!"

"Gotta go! Bye Clark!" She calls while jogging to catch up with her father "Wait for me okay! I'll be back! I promise!"

"Okay. I'll wait for you" he answers; but she doesn't here him. She's already out of sight.

~End~

**A/N: **Hope you guys enjoyed it. I kinda noticed that Lois is a lot like Jo'an; but that's to be expected I guess.


End file.
